And then comes the Cath (God will make a way)
Hello. First, I need to apologize because I am not an amazing daily, weekly or even monthly blogger, but I'm still here. I have a full plate, a full heart and many burdens; not to mention, the desire to accomplish so much with limited time and energy.
Today, my son had several scopes and biopsies done. We are looking at some ulcers in his GI tract; as well as, some mysterious white spots. Now we wait for biopsy results and conversations with docs. One of the conversations will be about cathing him. I am not happy to hear that. It hurts my heart, because I know those are very uncomfortable. I also think about having to care for and work around this thing sticking out of him, infection prevention and changing it out. I am not going to allow myself to panic though. I remember the anguish I went through when he had his spinal surgery and the heartache and disappointment when the doctor told me he would no longer be able to eat by mouth. Eating was one of his most favorite things to do and it connected him socially with others. That was taken away and now he needs a catheter. I am crying, as I type, a Don Moen song starts playing on youtube. "I am the Lord that healeth thee". I try to control my soul.... WHY GOD? WHY WON'T YOU HEAL MY SON??? Those screams will always be there, even if no one sees or hears. I know God can heal my son, and I don't know specifically why He won't, but I know He has a plan, a perfect plan which He works out with imperfect us. The next song on the playlist is "God will make a way". Yes, He will. God made a way when my first born weighed 1
lb and almost died, when he had his first seizure at 1 years old, when I needed strength and wisdom to understand and apply the abundance of information from specialists, therapists, social workers. God made a way during a serious accident that almost claimed our son's life again, causing further brain damage and a plethora of changes. God will make a way, He always does. God will give me the strength and wisdom to manage a catheter, to keep our son healthy, God will make a way! I am so ready for our son to be healed, but I am more ready for God to accomplish His perfect will in our lives and if that means medications, therapies, appointments, surgeries, gtubes, catheters, cpt treatments and repeat, so be it. God will make a way!