Your true enemy
Some lessons learned from my sweet Sarah.
Sarah Alvarado Biblical Log 28 January 2019
Growing up, I've learned a lot of lessons about my life and my enemies. I've grown closer to God and my family, especially since my dad passed away a few years ago. My heart is being shapen, and my mind is being cleared. It was a long, spiritual journey, though. It took faith, courage, and a whole lot of prayer and healing, but i made it. There still will be problems, but I have the weapons to face them. Here are some of the things I learned walking through this crazy path. One main thing I learned was that i didn't always have to think. That was one thing my mom told me a million times. I didn't realize it was useful until a few days later, when i couldn't take it anymore. I still remember her words like it was yesterday. She seemed annoyed about it, and that's why I didn't accept the wisdom principle. But i should have, because it ended up being useful. Anyway, I am a huge overthinker. I worry too much about things, and I make my problems seem bigger and scarier than they really are. Sometimes, and don't judge me, whether they are my friends or my favorite celebrity, or my dream crush, I think about people a lot. I used to do it so much, it became distracting through real life. I was too busy daydreaming with my head in the clouds, I forgot what a clear head felt like. I talked to my mom about it, she said, "It's okay. You're my little thinker. You are creative. You always have been. As long as you don't believe they are actually there, then you're fine." She was right. Besides, as long as I don't have any imaginary friends that aren't real in my head, I'm fine. That would be bad, because that would mean professional help, and I definitely do NOT want that. Over the months, my mind took me places I didn't wanna go, and I eventually knew I needed to take control. With this control, it felt so easy to just shut my brain off, or i would just say, "No. I'm in my room....by myself." That always works. Or, if there is someone I don't want to think about, I replace that thought and move on. I did that with an ex-best friend who was a terrible influence, and I knew I didn't have to think about her. I had to learn to let go. And it worked. Another thing I learned was that I didn't have to worry or fear. Like I said, I am a huge overthinker. Do not judge. It's not just what I think about that I thought mattered--- it also involved in what perspective can I think about it from. Stupid, right? I didn't think so, then. In other words, I had to decide how I think of myself in that thought and how I think of the other person *I am silently laughing as I write this*. Eventually, my "perspectives" changed, and it felt bad to me, and I started to freak out. One night, my head was spinning like crazy, and I decided to take a shower. While I was, I felt I needed to explain to myself why I am freaking out. I thought it might help me calm down. I asked myself what the problem was, and I explained in detail (I do this every time i have a problem so i can solve it). When I did, I immediately started laughing. I realized how stupid it really was. I could feel peace, and I knew God was laughing along with me. I overreacted to a fake worry. I wasn't afraid. That day, fear in me pretty much lost its power. Ever since then, I've been so happy. I was born a happy girl, and i always will be a happy girl. Through those months, I thought I lost that optimistic and innocent spark, but I didn't. It has always been there, and it always will be.