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  • Laura Alvarado-Newson

Difficult seasons

I am thankful for a sweet friend and mentor who reminded me years ago that our life comes in seasons.  I was a young mom from 25 and well into my mid 30s and always had a baby to care for.  I was determined to space out my kids so the older one would be in preschool as I cared for my infant.  Add into the mix the fact that my first preschooler still had the needs of an infant and still has those needs today at 19.  Tis the life with a severely disabled young man, whom I love with my all.  

Anyhow, I really thought I was gonna lose my mind because I was very active at work and church, always wanting to be up front and center for the latest project or event planning.  Once my babies came, my life was nursing and nurseries; doctor's appointments and sleepless nights.  I thought my life was over! Of course I love my babies very much and enjoyed their infant/toddler stages but at the same time, I felt stuck.  I felt like I was drowning, like I lost my identity.  I didn't even have a first name anymore, I was and still am referred to as mom at all our appointments.  

"Don't worry, this is just a season, enjoy it", were the words of my wise friend as she hugged me.  She was a couple of seasons ahead of me, but was also in the same boat with three little ones herself.  I relaxed and really tried to enjoy each season.  I was really starting to get into being in tune with my infant until she decides to turn into a crawling machine of exploration and risk taking.  Then came near choking experiences as solids became a thing and lets not get started on potty training, ugh I feel a panic attack coming.  Potty training is my natural birth control.  That was a hard season.  Oh then after pouring my heart, soul and blood into these babies, it's time to start separating from them???  Between preschool, sunday school and occassional trusted sitters so I can rekindle what once was a marriage, date nights were crucial; but leaving my babies was a level 4 hurricane in my soul.  I got through it, thank the Lord who has always been my strength. 

Now I face 3 different seasons at once.  Wait!  Is that even possible?  For me, oh yeah.  One child in beginning of puberty, one smack in the middle and, all of the sudden, I decide to go into reverse puberty.  I hold on to my friends words and God's love because this is a doozy.  These seasons make potty training, late night fevers, and trips to the ER look like disneyland.  

If I could go back and whisper into that young woman's ear as she sits on the couch sobbing because the baby has been nursing for 16 hours straight, and she is watching the 59th episode of sesame street and haven't showered or eaten in 3 days; I would tell her, " relax, enjoy these moments, because this storm is nothing compared to what's coming.  Woman, pray!  Get strong in your faith!  Because this season I am in now, will cause you to want to drink!"

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