• Laura Alvarado-Newson

A closer look

3 weeks before I marry the man I am in love with.  This love reaches beyond enfatuation or a young, naive fantasy that many of us embrace in our younger years.  We are two exhausted hearts joining together to hold one another up.  We know marriage, we know sacrificial love, we know what it's like to watch a spouse wither and die and we know what it's like to feel helpless and like a failure because we couldn't stop them from dying, we know what it's like to fake normal for our kids' sake; we couldn't stop God's sovereign and perfect plan.  We will never understand how one gets married, promising true and devoted love, promising one another divorce will not be an option no matter how hard it got, we would work through it; just to have your husband, your wife take their last breath, in front of you, too soon😔.  We know what it's like to shake our fists at God, to drench our pillows with tears, not only from our pain but our children's pain as well.  We know the result of years of stress and caregiving, hospitals, medicines.  Our bodies, our dark circles under our eyes carry the evidence of many years of demands, pain and work.  What is normal, every day and dull life to you is a welcome sigh of relief for us.  We are so tired, so in need of care and love; yet so full of desire to care for and love one another.  We are caregivers, uniting to care for each other, to dry each other's tears of exhaustion, tears full of questions and tears of relief.  This is a new season and a new time.  

There is nothing more attractive than a man that has been knocked down 1000 times and has gotten back up 1000 more times.  A man who has many reasons to faint and give up, yet stands up, smiles and keeps going.  A man who stood by his beautiful, sick wife for 25 years, standing in the gaps and voids of her limitations; caring for their children, cooking, leading a youth group, going to work all while struggling with his own health.  He doesn't know how strong he is, he sees his weaknesses, I see His God holding him up, being his strength when he is weak.  The same God who has been my strength.  

This marriage, this union is a very good thing❤ My heart is full of gratitude for bringing him into my life.

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