Jesus' death and Jesus' resurrection: the only reasons I am still standing!
This week, my children and I got through our first official crisis without their dad. My son hadn't been hospitalized in 3 years. In my last post I shared how difficult it is on my girls because of the trauma that is still so fresh in their hearts from losing their father.
Yesterday we got home, I got my son settled, loved on my girls and when caregivers arrived, I took a short nap. After my nap, I took girls out to a nice dinner. We raised our glasses and cheered "here's to falling back on our feet!"
I refuse to take credit for any strength, perseverance or ability to handle things. I did have the help from my sweet sister and a sweet older lady who lives with us. They provided care and food for my girls while I stayed by my son's side.
I give thanks to them and to all who prayed and I give all of the glory and praise to Jesus.
If it wasn't for Jesus' death on the cross, I would not have the forgiveness, mercy and grace to lift up my eyes during these hard times. I am nowhere near perfect, I make many mistakes, succumb to temptations and weaknesses. I deserve punishment, not God's help or strength; however God loved me. In spite of my weaknesses and rebellion, He loved me, to the point of sending His only son to die for me and for you, to take the punishment I deserve, you deserve. Thank you Jesus for your unconditional love and compassion and Your obedience to the Father. Without Jesus death, I would be lost and alone to figure things out on my own.
On the third day, Jesus rose from the dead. Because of the resurrection, I can rise from these little deaths I have experienced. The pain and exhaustion from raising a severly disabled child; the pain of almost losing my babies to premature birth; the agony of watching my husband get sick, become weak and helpless to the point of death. The heartbreaking, eye-opening moment when you have to choose and point at a casket from the catalog to place your husband's body in....I do not wish that on my worst enemy. I had to rebuild, to start over, the path before me where I had envisioned growing old with him; envisioned him walking our daughters down the aisle, those visions, those pages went blank. Now what?
"I am the resurrection and the life" these words make sense more than ever before. Jesus is the resurrection. Jesus is new life; a second, third and fourth chance! Jesus is the reason we can fall back on our feet! Look to the future, be happy again, smile and laugh again. Without His resurrection, there is just death and sadness, remorse and regret. However, JESUS IS ALIVE!!!
For these reasons and only for these reasons, after 8 nights of no sleep, of caring for a very sick child. After agonizing over my girls' wellbeing and after answering to a myriad of healthcare professionals. I can whole-heartedly say His mercies are NEW every morning, yesterday is behind us, we are home and we will rejoice and be happy! We move forward today, not worrying about tomorrow, because Jesus is already there!